Where Are All the Grownups?
Adulting is hard, I’ll give you that.
I’m over here trying not to use my driving words, set a good example for my kids, raise them into decent human beings, and be a good citizen myself.
Meanwhile, all around I see people not keeping their ish together, throwing temper tantrums whenever they dang well want to, saying whatever they “feel” like to whomever they feel like on social media.
Where have all the grownups gone?
Is this a lost art? Are we all doomed because very few people can adult?
As a kid, I felt pretty sure the world would keep spinning because the grownups were in charge.
Come to find out, no one running the show actually knows what they’re doing—me included!
It’s like we reach adulthood and think we’re just magically going to know how to do important grownup stuff. We’ll have good credit, find a well-paying job, buy a house and settle down with that special someone, our 2.5 kids, and a dog.
But that’s not how it goes. We didn’t learn about credit when we were younger so that free T-shirt we got when we signed up for the credit card in college actually cost us a good credit score (you mean I have to pay it off every month?) along with the house we were hoping to buy.
Good relationships weren’t modeled for us (or maybe they were but we thought those grownups were old and out-of-touch), so we repeat generational issues of divorce because we have no idea that good marriages go through hard times too. And it’s just easier to quit and start over than stay the course.
(No judgment here friends, I’ve been down that road too.)
We give our 2.5 kids all the things we didn’t have growing up and now they’re spoiled or don’t know how to have face-to-face conversations because they’re locked and loaded into technology so hard they’ve lost that skill. If they ever had it.
At night, instead of the family eating around the dinner table multiple times per week it’s now going through the drive-through on the way to this ballgame or that event.
We’re up to our eyeballs in debt, failed relationships, and calendared events—no wonder all the grownups are having meltdowns and walking away.
So what can we do?
I have made many of these same mistakes. And I don’t profess to know all the answers but here’s what I am doing right now.
1) Reading the Word of God. There’s a lot of great principles in there as to how to live an “adultish” life. Spend less than you make, save for a rainy day, be generous and kind to others.
2) Slowing down. My relationships can’t be sustained in minutes. They have to be maintained through moments and that takes my time.
3) Learning the concept that LESS is really MORE. The less stuff I have to maintain, the more time I have to spend on the people that are important to me.
I don’t have it all figured out. But I can see that I’m on the right track, making progress by degrees as my family is blooming in this season.
As a grownup, I wish I had all the answers and could tell you how to get your own ish together. But I am trying, and I’m willing to share whatever I learn. And the mistakes I make.
I’m sure there will be plenty.
Just for today, if you’re the grownup and you’re trying like heck to adult better, take a breath. Pause. Slow down. Maybe ask the Lord to show you some of his wisdom.
I’ll be trying right along with you. And maybe if enough of us adultish types try, we can leave this world a better place for our kids.
Love,
Meredith💗
Photo cred: Sigrid Kaffen